Watch and Pray

Night time is one of the worst times of my day. I do not usually go to bed ready to rest, but exhausted. I am accustomed to my mind merely going blank rather than thankful or with joy. I have adopted a practice that I hope to make habitual of "watching" and praying for a short time before I go to sleep.

"Watch and pray" Jesus said to the sleepy disciples in Gethsemane. He did not equate their sleepiness to merely a "hard day," but a weakness in their bodies. They were not able to receive enough strength from praying to keep them from sleeping. I do not see this as just willpower, but as the body trumping the spirit in the life of the disciples.

My experiences have been good, but easy to forget or disregard. In the evenings, I find that this scripture applies at times: "In your anger do not sin; when you lie on your beds, search your hearts and be silent." (Ps. 4:4) There's so much to be angry about at night: frustrated desires or disappointment over the day. Instead I hope to find the light of God's face (Ps. 4:6) and the joy of being with him, even into the night.

Lord, I want to watch for you so that I can see you more readily both in the day and in the night. Increase my attentiveness; grace my efforts; bless my nights. I look forward to joy in you, Father. Amen.