Parents and family can help us on that path or set up barriers. Usually, it is a bit of both. They can only give what they have. Often, they are not so bad as they are limited. They are fallen, but they are also human.
This is where God comes in. Authenticity begins with him. "I am that I am." He is the only completely self-reliant, self-initiating, self-directing being. He is real and genuine without qualification.
Even more amazing is that God has in himself authentic relationship: Trinity. He *is* loving community. In that sense, the revelation that "God is love" in Christianity is so remarkable. He is not merely loving toward people, but also can be called them - the persons of the Trinity - loving each other.
As "heady" as all this is, it provides the only safe starting point for authentic relationships. Without first being included in the loving community of Trinity through Jesus, we will find loving each other impossible. We will be drawn to other people in order to use or idolize them. Even our marriages need a focal point other than just the other person - a mediator, if you will.
Biblically, we see this played out in the qualifiers to the "one another" passages: "Love one another as I have loved you", "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ", ans so on. The reason and motivation for our love is a relationship with God. It fuels and informs all of our relationships.
Because of our love for God is the reason, if our relationships are not authentic, then it reflects back on our relationship with God. "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us" is not so much of a threat as a fact. As we live in the forgiveness of God, so we learn how to forgive each other. Conversely, if we do not live with a forgiving God, we will not find ourselves particularly forgiving toward other people.
How we conceive of God affects our relationship with other people. So much so that we can find our relationships with others as an indicator of how we are relating to God. We start with those closest and often dearest, our neighbors, that is, the one who is "nigh" or near. These relationships will inevitably give us a picture of how we are relating to God.
We become grounded in what is most real, genuine, and true by entering a relationship with Jesus, the doorway to the Trinity. Authenticity is then caught and taught. Such authenticity then begins to flavor our relationships, like salt. It begins to shine out of our words and deeds, like light.
Confession, encouragement, service, true community worship, mutual guidance and other practices start off with practice, but then begin to naturally occur in our relationships with others because we want what is best for them, we actually love them. Our "left hand does not know what our right hand is doing" because they have become thoroughly ingrained in our character instead of just practiced for religious purposes.
Then we are authentic. Then we can be authentic with others. Then authentic relationships become possible.
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