Repentance: It's Not All that Bad

Repentance is not an emotion.  It is not feeling sorry for your sins.  It is deciding that you have been wrong in supposing you could manage your own life and be you own god; it is deciding that you were wrong in thinking that you had, or could get, the strength, education, and training to make it on your own; it is deciding that you have been told a pack of lies about yourself, your neighbors, and your world.   And it is deciding that God is Jesus Christ is telling you the truth.  Repentance is a realization that what God wants from you and what you want from God are not going to be achieved by doing the same old things, thinking the same old thoughts.  Repentance is a decision to follow Jesus Christ and become his pilgrim in the path of peace.  (Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, p.30)

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.  (Matthew 13:44)

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What if repentance didn't make you feel bad?  What if the emotional marks of repentance was love, joy, and peace?  When I think about it, I find that repentance usually ends up in relief and joy.  I can finally let go of something that I thought I needed because I find there is something else so much better and greater.

No, what makes me miserable is my resistance to repentance.  Approaching the corner I mean to turn, I find myself full of fear, worry, and even anger.  Part of me doesn't want to repent.  That's the part of me that causes all the pain.  Repentance is the relief, the sunrise.

So Jesus also explains some of the top "dreads" that keep me from repenting in another parable.

Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path.  The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy.  But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.  The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.  But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.  (Matthew 13:18-23)

Ignorance is the first.  What I don't know can hurt me.  Persecution is another problem.  Other people's resistance can become my resistance through fear.  Worry and greed can eventually outgrow even the best of news.

Repentance asks, seeks, and knocks.  Repentance must come from certainty and fearlessness.  Repentance must weed out worries and all sorts of lust and greed to last.  Such repentance doesn't yield a mere 10% in a year, but 30,000% to 100,000%.

Is Jesus exaggerating?  Is he just advertising the kingdom with the current marketing techniques?  The message is clear.  The influence and work of God in my life is more valuable than anything else.  It is worth giving it all away.  Repentance may seem foolish to those who cannot see the hidden treasure, but it makes perfect sense to the one who has found the treasure.

Lord, you are my treasure and my triumph.  Save me from all that would take me from you.  Let my decision be wise, fearless, and lasting.  Amen.