Getting Out of Being "in Want"

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. (C.S. Lewis)

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want."  What would it be like to not be "in want"?  That is where I find myself too often - stuck "in want."  Desire is a cruel master.  It never has enough.  Desire can only be fulfilled when it submits to something greater.  Desire leaves us before half the journey is done to fulfillment..  Half-hearted desire wanders and gets lost, taking us one way and then another, but never further.  Only with the Lord as my shepherd will desire become part of deep satisfaction, the place where I can say, "I shall not be in want."

"Now I lay me down to sleep."  I used to say that prayer as a child.  I felt such comfort in the softness of my bed and the darkness of the room and one of my parents close by.  Recovery comes from such rest.  As I laid myself down, I also laid aside the days troubles and concerns.  Something in a child can forget such things.  God brings me to that place where I can lie down and lay down, so that I can enjoy what he has given to me.

The place of my rest is the green pasture of my life.  Many people pray "Give us today our daily bread" on many Sundays.  Yesterday's pastures are brown.  Tomorrow's pastures are not yet grown.  The green pastures reside in today's life.  Only in these pastures can I find rest instead of regret or worry.  The comings and goings of this day are where the hand of my Shepherd can nourish me.  Even remembering and hoping live in the present if they have any life at all.  God satisfies my soul as we walk together into this day, this hour, this moment, with him as my guide.

The great danger is that I will walk by that place of rest and green pastures.  Instead of lying down in trust and hope, I take up my life in a restless rush after empty dreams.  Instead of laying down my troubles and concerns into his hands, I clench onto them with determination to fix what I can on my own.  Instead of seeing the pastures green around me, I think they must be greener on the "other side."  The other side being a past I cannot recover or a future I only think I know.  I do not say, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places" (Psalm 16:6) or "Surely, the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it." (Genesis 28:16)  I say, "I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones. . . and I'll say to myself,'. . .Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry.'"  (Luke 12:18-19)  Such is the nature of desire as a master: it is greed, which is idolatry.

Resting.  Receiving this day's events as nourishment.  Abandoning greed.  My soul will be satisfied and restored on this path.  It is not the denial of my desires, but placing it under the rule of God.  Under his influence, desire can lead to what is good, what is true, and what is beautiful.  In these I find satisfaction for my soul.  Desire is fulfilled after it is laid aside for greater things.  It has done its job.  Lord, let my desires lead me to you, your ways, and your guidance.  Show me how to make them servants instead of masters of my life so that my soul may be restored in paths of righteousness for your name's sake.  Amen.