A Right Relationship to God

Are we prepared to leave ourselves resolutely alone and to launch out into the priestly work of prayer?  The continual grubbing on the inside to see whether we are what we ought to be generates a self-centered, morbid type of Christianity, not the robust, simple life of a child of God.  Until we get into a right relationship to God, it is a case of hanging on by the skin of our teeth, as we say.  (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, June 21)

Recently I had one of my "feel sorry for myself" episodes.   I have trouble with the prayer of examen at times.  When I look closely at my conscience and the desires I struggle with, I am appalled.  I think one reason is that I am hoping for a cure more than for God's grace; I want to be free from the things that tie me to God's mercy.  At the heart of it, I think I get angry because I cannot achieve autonomy more than being sorry for my sins.  I become increasingly self-centered and morbid in these moods.

The encouragement to leave myself "resolutely alone" reminds me that my even if my goal is merely to get better and grow stronger, I will not get anywhere without God at my side.  I was not made to "go it alone."  I was made to be in a close conversational relationship with God.  Jesus as the Son of Man, the ideal person, shows this in his life and words.  Everything he does is done with the Father at his side - and he has no sin in his life.

Actually, this is the essence of freedom from sin: living with the Father at my side.  Sin is merely what I do when I do not live this way.  Sins are the particular things I do in order to try to live without the Father on my own steam.  They are indicators of what my life is like without the Father.

The answer, then, is not looking inside and trying to figure out how I can get rid of sin so I can get back to God.  Since the source of my sins is distance from God, I cannot fix them apart from seeking the "right relationship" with him, a relationship of trust and continual interaction.  Like marriage, my relationship with God is repaired and deepened with the right kind of relationship with God.  Marriage is not what I do for my wife or how I think about her as much as what we do together.  Like family, my relationship with God is not merely something I work for, but something I must participate in and enjoy.  Family is not what I bring home for my kids or what opportunities I give them as much as how we live together and love each other.  A "right" relationship with God is not what I do for God or what I think about him as much as how we do life together, as a Father and son, or as a master and apprentice.

My sins, then are my efforts to live apart from this relationship and replace it with another kind.  Sins are the cracks and empty places in my life where God needs to be in order for my life to be restored and full.  Maybe I need to think about God less and exercise my fondness for him.  Maybe I need to do less for him and do more with him.  The greatest danger to my relationship with God, I think, is my service to God.  My sins tell the story.

Lord, I get knotted up inside when I try to fix myself apart from seeking you.  I will seek you, O God; your face will I seek.  In being with you as a Father, I know I will find repair and restoration.  I will find myself safe and sound in that relationship.  Instead of seeking to please you, help me to trust you more and walk with you consistently through this day and each day.  Amen.

"A Quiet More Deep Than Death"

Rest

I.

When round the earth the Father's hands
  Have gently drawn the dark;
Sent off the sun to fresher lands,
  And curtained in the lark;
'Tis sweet, all tired with glowing day,
  To fade with faded light;
To lie once more, the old weary way,
  Upfolded in the night.

A mother o'er the couch may bend,
  And rose-leaf kisses heap:
In soothing dreams with sleep they blend,
  Till even in dreams we sleep.
And, if we wake while night is dumb,
  'Tis sweet to turn and say,
It is an hour ere dawning come,
  And I will sleep till day.






II.






There is a dearer, warmer bed,
  Where one all day may lie,
Earth's bosom pillowing the head,
  And let the world go by.
Instead of mother's love-lit eyes,
  The church's storied pane,
All blank beneath cold starry skies,
  Or sounding in the rain.






The great world, shouting, forward fares:
  This chamber, hid from none,
Hides safe from all, for no one cares
  For those whose work is done.
Cheer thee, my heart, though tired and slow
  An unknown grassy place
Somewhere on earth is waiting now
  To rest thee from thy race.









III.






There is a calmer than all calms,
  A quiet more deep than death:
A folding in the Father's palms,
  A breathing in his breath;
A rest made deeper by alarms
  And stormy sounds combined:
The child within its mother's arms
  Sleeps sounder for the wind.





There needs no curtained bed to hide
  The world with all its wars,
Nor grassy cover to divide
  From sun and moon and stars
A window open to the skies,
  A sense of changeless life,
With oft returning still surprise
  Repels the sounds of strife.







IV.






As one bestrides a wild scared horse
  Beneath a stormy moon,
And still his heart, with quiet force,
  Beats on its own calm tune;
So if my heart with trouble now
  Be throbbing in my breast,
Thou art my deeper heart, and Thou,
  O God, dost ever rest.






When mighty sea-winds madly blow,
  And tear the scattered waves;
As still as summer woods, below
  Lie darkling ocean caves:
The wind of words may toss my heart,
  But what is that to me!
'Tis but a surface storm--Thou art
  My deep, still, resting sea.

(Geroge MacDonald,1864)

The Cross Is Not Mere Sacrifice

For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.  (Hosea 6:6, NIV)

I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings. (Hosea 6:6, NLT) 

The Hebrew word for "mercy" in the NIV is chesedh, which is translated as both love and mercy.  The older translation from the King James of "lovingkindness" may capture most of the word's meaning.  In a more story-form, it is the quality of kindness that is usually reserved for close friends and family members.  "A person exercising chesadh has chosen to treat the recipient as if such a relationship did exist," whether it does or not.

To further explain this term, Hosea places it parallel to "knowing God."  Knowledge of God is nearly always understood in the Bible as an interactive or conversational relationship.  It is not merely knowing about God, but actually knowing him in a personal way.  So, when God desires lovingkindness, it is not so much as an act done to others around me, but as a quality that I live in.  God is saying he wants my love more than my "sacrifices."  He wants to know me and not just receive homage from me.

In the Old Testament, sacrifices demonstrated the love and faithfulness of Israel to God.  Hosea is pointing out a disease that had spread among the people of Israel.  They were giving sacrifices without lovingkindness.  They brought their offerings without seeking to know the God they brought them to.  Their hypocrisy became plain in how they dealt with each other, showing that God's mercy and the awareness of him did not salt their attitudes toward each other.  Hosea was saying that such sacrifices were worthless and that God had no use for them outside the context of this tender love and eager conversation he longed to have with his people.

The cross of Christ stands as the final sacrifice for all people, but it must be clear that God does not desire sacrifice for the sake of sacrifice.  What underlies the sacrifice of Jesus is this lovingkindness and this passion to know God.  Jesus' loving and willing obedience to the Father is what gives the cross its ultimate significance, not his painful, morbid death.  Without such love on Jesus' part, his death is a mere tragedy - actually pathetic.

Jesus embodiment of God's lovingkindness and his awareness of the Father's presence moved him to the cross as atonement.  Jesus death by itself does not rescue me from death - separation from God - any more than the sacrifices of the Israelites in themselves brought them closer to God.  No, Jesus himself is my atonement, my covering.  His sacrifice is the most significant proof and outcome of that great love he has from the Father for me, but in itself that death means nothing apart from the life of Jesus with me.  His continuing relationship is what atones or "covers" me, not just something he did.

When I apply "I desire mercy, not sacrifice" to the cross, I find myself drawn to he heart of Jesus.  I find that God's desire is for my heart to be the same as Jesus' more than for me to suffer for him.  That is why following Jesus in Jesus' own words is "Take up your cross and follow me" rather than "Believe in my cross and you will be saved."  The response that God wants from me when I see the cross is not merely "What a wonderful thing Jesus did!"  or "What a good example Jesus gave!"  The response that God wants is "God is love.  I want to know Jesus and his Father.  I will give up this life I try to lead on my own to the cross and enter into life with him today!"  If my understanding of the cross does not naturally move me to an interactive, conversational relationship with God, then I do not understand the cross of Christ.

Lord, let your lovingkindness saturate my life.  Let this desire to know you through Jesus guide me.  Deliver me from mere sacrifices into the joy of giving up everything to you in trust and dependence.  Let the cross be to me a landmark of your great love and my increasing desire to obey you out of trust.  Apart from your daily relating to me - walking and talking with me as your own - I will not make it.  Be not far from me, Father.  Amen.

Hope in the Kingdom of God: The Gospel

Who hopes for what he already has?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. . . .  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  (Romans 8:24b, 25, 26b)

This then is how you should pray:  Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.  Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. . . .  (Matthew 6:9)

The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating or drinking, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.  (Romans 14:17)

Hope and prayer are tied together.  As Paul writes, "Who hopes for what he already has?"  It is no accident that his next section deals with prayer: "We do not know what we ought to pray for."  The prayer of faith springs from the hope that delivers me:  "That faith and hope that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel."  (Colossians 1:5)

Without hope, faith has no basis.  "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."  (Hebrews 11:1, KJV)  As an idea gives birth to an invention or a feeling sprouts into a desire, faith stands on hope.  Hope waits for and eagerly anticipates what is not yet seen.  It is not wishing, but joyful anticipation of what is yet to come.  Faith naturally springs from hope as its consequence in the present.  What is truly hoped for is trusted in.

One of the truest expressions of faith in God is prayer.  It acknowledges trust.  If I do not trust, I do not pray.  Prayer without trust, without faith, is just religious babble.  "And do not keep on babbling as the pagans do, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  Do not be like them, because your Father knows what you need before you ask him."  (Matthew 6:7-8)  How does God know this?  It is not so much because he his omniscient, but because he loves each person so deeply that he knows them so well.  This is the prayer of faith: knowing the God who knows me as a dearly loved child.

Such prayer also springs from hope.  If I do not hope, I do not pray.  Prayer without hope is just fatalism.  It takes the words "Your will be done" in the wrong way.  Instead of joyfully anticipating the work and will of God in this present age, hopeless prayer anticipates abandonment instead of deliverance, predictable outcome instead of joyful surprise, keeping the trinkets of this world rather than acquiring the treasures of God's kingdom, turning away quickly in disappointment rather than waiting patiently for the wonders of God.

Hopeless prayer is like a king's servant who was commanded, "Put this money to work," but on the return of the king says, "I was afraid of you, because you are a hard man.  You take out what you did not put in and reap what you did not sow."  The conclusion of the king: "I will judge you by your own words.  To everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away."  (Luke 19:11-26)  Hopeless prayer receives little and even that little is lost.

So my prayers express my faith and my faith is the substance of what I hope for.  Jesus focuses my hope on the kingdom of God in his model prayer.  His kingdom is not a matter of external matters like food, drink, or mere religious practices, but of living with and in his Spirit who "intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will," in accordance with God's kingdom.  I think that the Lord's prayer is an expression of what I am to hope for.

The good news according to Jesus is this: "the kingdom of God is near."  This is not opposed to other expressions of hope, but stands in concert with them.  Another famous passage of the good news is 1 Corinthians 15:3-7, which can be summarized, "Christ died for our sins.  Christ raised.  Christ appeared."  The King is near as is his kingdom.  He redeems each person from his slavery to sin, defeats all sin and evil through his resurrection, and appears to each person to invite them into his kingdom.

Lord, I have often neglected the hope you have given.  I have wondered about where my faith goes in trials and temptations.  I see now that it goes where my hope lies.  I find myself like a lot of people: without hope.  I see that is also without God.  Please deepen my hope, so I can eagerly await what I do not see.  Amen.

Faith is opposed to sight.  Hope that is seen is no hope at all.  This means not that I need to live in complete ignorance.  Faith is not opposed to knowledge, nor is hope without knowledge, since it lives in those "who have the firstfruits of the Spirit."  No, faith and hope are opposed to sight because what is seen is temporary and passing away.  What is seen holds no hope since it will leave me empty.  It is the God who is unseen that I hope in and his kingdom that rules over all and yet remains holy and hidden in these days.

How Sheep, Snakes, and Doves Share Their Faith

 I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.  (Matthew 10:16)

Jesus speaks these enigmatic words after he has been telling his disciples how to share the good news of the kingdom of God.  The warning is well taken and fairly obvious.  Sheep among wolves need to watchful and careful, but perhaps also vulnerable and dependent.  Jesus is not throwing me to the wolves, but pointing out that rather than being fierce and ravenous in my dealings with others, I should be dependent on God and self-sacrificing for others.

What is the wisdom of a snake?  Snakes don't chase things.  "The wisdom of the serpent is to wait until someone comes to them," says Dallas Willard.  The wisdom of the snake is in its timing.  Developing this sort of wisdom only comes with prayer, awareness, patience, and practice.  In reaching out to people with good news or even good deeds, timing is everything.  Sometimes I hear about that wisdom in terms like "divine appointments" or "a God thing."  I know I have to be careful not to try to manufacture such timing.  I end up being like Moses who tried to free his people by killing an Egyptian overseer rather than waiting on God's deliverance.  Win a battle, lose a war.

What is the innocence of a dove?  A dove is harmless.  It does not deserve indictment because it does not do anything.  (Although Dawn, my wife, does not think they are so harmless because their constant "cooing" drives her crazy. . . especially in the morning.)  When a dove comes, it comes with gentleness and harmlessness.  Sharing needs to be this way.  Instead of pushing, there is invitation.  Instead of accusing, their is sympathy and empathy.  Instead of demands, there are promises.

Because I fear people, I find that I reverse the confuse the roles of these creatures in sharing my faith in word or deed.  I find that I become as flighty and fearful as a dove.  Afraid of rejection or abuse, I run from opportunities to share and care.  I find that I am as venomous as a snake.  Afraid of rejection or abuse, I make my words sting so that I can safely say I shared, but they just didn't accept God's invitation.  They run and I feel I'm "off the hook."

Lord, what if I waited for people to come to me?  I sometimes feel it would never happen.  Forgive me for my inattention.  What if I did not make my words "bite?"  I sometimes feel I would never be listened to.  Forgive me for my lack of trust in you and your word.  Show me how to wait with anticipation and share without demand.  That is how you treat me so often, Father.  Thank you.  Amen.

Peace: Rest for the Soul

The last several days I have been hit in the face with peace.  From Sunday's sermon to my own devotions to God to conversations with people around me, I have been hounded by God about peace.  It started with a letter I wrote to God in which I found that one of my greatest desires is for God's peace in my life.  Today friend challenged me in her blog with the question, "What will you do?"

My experience in the last several days has been more a matter of asking, "What will you not do?"  I have numerous "peace-stealers" in my life.  As I walk through my day, I find that I am given to follow all sorts of rabbit-trails away from God's peace.  A couple of examples - as I came to my front door after work and my family was away at an Irish Dance practice for the kids, I felt a burden come on me.  I was weighed down by all the things I needed to get done and a frantic to-do list was already building in my mind.  Another situation surprised me.  A complement from a friend unsettled me.  I found my mind whirling and planning for how I could continue to impress this friend further to get more complements.

I have already tried to live in peace that was not not from God.  The peace of indifference is tempting at times, but certainly has no relationship with the peace of God which is coupled with love and joy.  The peace of ease is more tempting still, except that it makes me irritated with people (not loving at all) when they wreck my plans for ease and quiet.  I realize that one of the big problems with seeking God's peace is that I confuse it with other forms of "peace" that get thrown around.

Perhaps one of the the best description of God's peace is given by Jesus (surprise!) when he tells all those who are weary and burdened to take on his yoke.  Straining against a yoke like a cow or an ox was not the first idea I had about seeking peace.  Some sort of spiritual calm or release from troubles in my life seem to make more sense.  Instead Jesus says, "Learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls."  (Matthew 11:29)  Jesus touches on where I really need rest: my soul.

The "yoke" of a Jewish rabbi in Jesus' time was his specific teaching.  The teaching of such rabbis (Jesus included) was not primarily book-learning, but life-learning.  We might do better to be apprentices rather than students of Jesus because of the typical idea of learning in our day.  A disciple of a rabbi was learning to become like the rabbi.  They were not trying merely to understand what the rabbi said, they were trying to do what the rabbi did.  So Peter got out of the boat to walk on the water as any disciple should who followed their rabbi.  Rabbi Jesus, in picking his disciples, was saying in essence, "I believe you can be like me!"

So I find two things at work.  First, I need to lay down my burdens.  I would call them burdens and not my work or my calling.  Burdens are the many things I take on myself.  God does not put them on me.  I gather them like a dust mop gathers dust.  And they stick.  When I am overwhelmed, I have been practicing reminding myself that God has given me enough time to do what he wants me to do.  Usually that means I do not have to hurry if I am trying to walk with him in my life rather than trying to please everybody else and myself.  God is not the author of hurry and worry.

Laying down burdens is really hard work!  However, Jesus' promise is that as hard as it is, it is much easier than trying to keep living with the burdens I gather for myself.  In order to take hold of Jesus' yoke I have to let go of the one I keep trying to pull myself.  In daily terms, this means that I have to learn how to say "No" and practice the first part of the Serenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."  As thoughts come that worry or hurry me, I am learning how to let them go and focus on what is at hand and what God would have of me.

At the heart of this is self-denial, or taking up my cross.  I need to learn not to harbor and to continually focus on my own desires.  I do not have to try to get rid of them entirely.  That is not possible or beneficial.  Rather, by putting them aside, I begin to learn which one are burdens and which ones are delights.  I learn how God can satisfy all my desires so that I do not have to worry about them.  I learn that the pride of uncontrolled desire is what makes my life miserable and ugly, while self-denial creates room for humility.  If I am not spending all my time worrying about how to get what I want, I might stand a chance at doing what God wants (his will).  I can thoroughly trust him to look out for my interests and meet my desires.

After laying some burdens down I am ready to take up the "easy yoke."  Why easy?  Well, I think it's at least easier than what I try to do on my own.  The Bible calls "doing on my own" living "in the flesh."  Instead God has provided grace which is his strength available to do what I cannot do on my own or in my flesh.  If I live by grace, I live by the loving strength that God provides for people who do his will, what he wants.  In terms of the yoke, I have the lift it up and put it on, but Jesus himself is my yoke-fellow.  So who is really doing the work?  Certainly not me.  But I do need to submit to the yoke and go where he goes.

When self-denial does its work by God's grace in my life, I find there is space for humility.  The rest that Jesus offers is not a vacation nor is it anesthesia.  The rest comes from humility.  Peace comes from humility among other things.  Humility is not merely realizing how wrong I am, but more realizing how right and good God is.  Humility lives where I am nothing and God is everything.  Not to say I am worthless, but that my worth is found in how I relate with God, live with God, and serve my God.  Humility is so much more than being "sorry."  It is knowing my proper place in God's great universe.

So, I am finding that peace comes from letting my desires go easily and quickly in favor of doing what God wants.  In that practice my whole life (my soul) begins to become more ordered by God's commands.  Each part of my life (mind, heart, body, social sphere) begins to work together with God as one whole life instead of as fighting factions, mind vs. body, etc.  Meaning and direction start to form in this ordered, integrated soul and make obedience to God possible.  That is where this peaceful "soul rest" comes out: obedience to Christ.  In God's kingdom, in that most intimate relationship with Christ, obedience is abundance.

All that to say I will seek peace by:

1. Seeking, studying, and asking for the peace that Christ had as he lived, loved, and served other people in his earthly ministry,
2. Learning to say "No" to my desires in everyday life and through deliberate practices by God's grace, 
3. Learning to say "Yes" to the commands of Christ my Teacher in everyday life and through deliberate practices by God's grace, and 
4. Anticipating and seeking a life where God is everything to me and where I rely on him to fulfill my needs and desires.

How would you find peace, rest for your soul?  How would you learn from Christ?

Small Steps in Discipleship to Jesus: A Vision

For God so loved the world that he gave us his only begotten Son that whoever believes in him will not perish, but have eternal life.  (John 3:16)

This popular verse encompasses the vision of what it means to live as a disciple of Jesus.  The substance of that vision is God's love for each person as an individual.  The expression of that love is in God's gift of Jesus Christ.  The response to that love is belief, seeing and trusting in this loving God.  The outcome is eternal life, a blessed and wonderful existence with God starting now and stretching into eternity.

According to Dallas Willard, who uses vision in his V-I-M model for personal transformation (Living a Transformed Life Adequate to Our Calling), vision is what motivates each person in growth.  The stronger the vision, the stronger the desire for growth and change.  I am not surprised that God spends so much time teaching me about and encouraging me with his love.  I remember one man writing that 90% of the time God speaks to him, he tells him how much he loves him.  God understands that without this vision of his love firmly set in the heart, the intention the change and the means of enabling such change will not be effective.

The substance of God's love must go beyond a general good feeling or force.  God does not love humanity; God loves each person.  In The Shack, I found it touching to hear God the Father say, "Tell your friend that I am especially fond of him."  He is able to spend time with each of us as individuals and not be less present  to any one person just because there are so many people.  He is infinite in his ability to give attention.  Jesus puts it this way: "Even the very hairs of your head are all numbered."  God does not love or treat us as masses or generalities; God loves each person dearly as an individual.

The expression of God's love is seen most clearly in Christ.  He is the Word through which everything that has been made was made.  He is Jesus, the incarnation of invisible God.  The Spirit of Jesus continues to indwell and act within this world and in his disciples.  One way I have discovered in understanding Jesus is to see that he comes as my Savior, Lord, Teacher, and Friend.  I can see the substance of God's love in a relationship with his Son, who brings God's love to me in ways I can understand and appreciate.  These four relationships express the deepest needs of my heart.  I need to be saved and restored.  I need to embrace my life as a created being who serves my God.  I need to be shown how to live.  I need to be befriended and walked with, even when I am not such a good friend myself.

The response to God's love is trusting him.  The relationships that God establishes in Christ require a response on my part in order for me to be a part of him.  I am always responding and never initiating in these relationships.  I respond to Jesus as my Savior by accepting my need my need to be saved, my hopelessness without his action on my part.  I respond to Jesus as my Lord by obedience to his commands, seeking to conform to his desires, and worshiping him and through him.  I respond to Jesus as my Teacher by learning from him about how to live my life as he would live my life, being his apprentice, his disciple.  I respond to Jesus as my Friend by going to him in all times, good or bad, and confiding in him about all things.  I see Jesus in these ways and trust that they are true about him.

The outcome of God's love is eternal life.  Jesus defines eternal life as knowing God and himself.  This is not merely something that happens after a person dies.  The reality and experience of eternal life can begin in this age and in my present existence.  The vision of eternal life is one of abundance, blessedness, love, joy and peace.  Although Jesus says that I will have trouble in this life, he says that he has overcome all trouble.  That is one of the meanings of the cross.  No one stands outside of the blessedness of such abundant life, no matter what their status, circumstances, or sufferings.  In the light of this life, even when we face trouble and suffering, Jesus says, "Rejoice and be glad!"  (Matthew 5:12)

Such a vision of God's love is what under-girds discipleship to Christ.  Where the vision falters or fades, my desire fades as well.  Without the light of that vision, my intentions become confused and my practices meaningless.  As the vision of God's love which gave me Jesus as my Savior, Lord, Teacher, and Friend who accepts my neediness, my service, my questions, and my company and which brings a new life of blessedness and abundance fills my vision, my sight, and my life, I will find that my decision to follow him and serve him and love him becomes clear and the practices necessary to enter that life become fruitful and life-giving.  I believe that most of my effort and attention need to go into this vision so clearly stated in John 3:16.

If you were to pick one aspect of this vision that gives you the most trouble, which would it be?  Do you find it hard to see God loving you in particular?  Do you find it hard to see Jesus as being enough to fill your needs and desires?  Do you find it hard to accept a relationship with Jesus?  Do you find it hard to see your life as blessed and abundant?