Conflict in This Present Age

 How often have I failed to find faithfulness, where I thought I possessed it. How many times I have found it where I least expected.

Who is the man who is able to keep himself so warily and circumspectly as not sometimes to come into some snare of perplexity? But he who trusteth in Thee, O Lord, and seeketh Thee with an unfeigned heart, doth not so easily slip. And if he fall into any tribulation, howsoever he may be entangled, yet very quickly he shall be delivered through Thee, or by Thee shall be comforted, because Thou wilt not forsake him that trusteth in Thee unto the end.

Oh, how good and peacemaking a thing it is to be silent concerning others, and not carelessly to believe all reports, nor to hand them on further; how good also to lay one's self open to few, to seek ever to have Thee as the beholder of the heart.  (Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, Chapter 55)

In dealing with conflict, I am encouraged to know that failing to find faithfulness in other people is not just a current thing, since Thomas a Kempis was writing about it in the 12th century.  Also, I am encouraged to know that faithfulness does come up in a number of places where I least expect it.  This shows me that such faithfulness is not a consistent practice in people's lives, but a common one built into the creation.  It explains why I can trust God to show me faithfulness and kindness, often through unexpected persons, while not being able to rely on any one person in particular for complete faithfulness.



Peace and rest cannot be expected to last a long time anywhere in this current age.  This goes doubly in relationships.  I often run into some "snare of perplexity," not matter how hard I may try to avoid it.  This is why a Kempis recommends not seeking peace and rest as much as trust in God and his comfort.  Trying to find peace in this world leads to anger and depression.  Rather, I find hope in knowing that God will quickly save or quickly comfort me in the face of all trials.

Silence leads to much peace with other people.  Often I am tempted to "share" and "talk things out" when silence would serve best.  In communication, no one mode answers every need, but silence is seldom used for anything but resentment ("the silent treatment").  Silence so often protects me from hurting other people through harsh or slanderous words.  Silence also protects me from exercising pride and bitterness which hurt myself.  The helplessness of silence can move me to pray and trust in God more when I am concerned for the good of God, others, and myself.  Often true: "Much dreaming and many words are meaningless; therefore stand in awe of God."  (Ecclesiastes 5:7)

Father, conflict is a regular part of this present age.  I spend time fuming about it and trying so hard to avoid it.  Let me instead walk hand in hand with you, knowing you alone can deliver me from trouble and only you can truly comfort my aching heart.  Lead me to a few who I can trust and let me lead others to the only one they can truly trust.  Amen.

The Reward of Fear

The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. (Ps. 19:10)

Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but store up for yourselves treasure in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. (Mt. 6:19-20)

Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore, stand in awe of God. (Ecc. 5:7)

In the first part of Matthew 6, Jesus takes pains to explain that I must "be careful not to do [my] acts of righteousness before men to be seen by them." The motivation is for keeping them secret is missing out on the "reward from [my] Father in heaven." What is this reward?

Jesus gives a clue that the reward is in heaven by immediately following the three "acts of righteousness" with instruction on where to put my savings account: heaven. "Build up a savings in heaven and you'll never face a recession or loss or robbery." My ears are accustomed to hearing that savings as mere after-life promises.

Not that such promises are empty. They just do not cover the whole plan. The savings is not only a 401k, available only after my final "retirement" from this age. It is an active reservoir from which I draw each day, which is why Jesus confidently explains that I need not worry about my life or my body in the face of such abundance. (Mt. 6:25)

The reward that God promises is incorruptible. It does not fade or fail. It is permanent. In this sense, it is much more than a savings, which is kept for special occasions or rainy days. This reward is meant to be used like a spending account and enjoyed, not hoarded, because it cannot be lost.

So what sort of reward does secret and sincere giving, praying, and fasting yield? What sort of reward dissipates with seeking of people's approval or the fear of their criticism? The reward is the fear of God. It is pure and endures forever. It is meant to last and meant to be enjoyed.

Fear is the seeking of someone's approval, and, by implication, avoiding their disapproval. With impersonal objects, like lightning and gravity, I place myself favorably with the force so that I do not incur its "wrath." Similarly, with people, fear is a positioning of myself in their favor so as to avoid their displeasure. When people's approval becomes important, desire for God's approval disappears. Similarly, when God's approval is most important, the need for people's approval disappears.

If the fear of God is pure, it is free from any foreign object. The fear of God shares no other fear. When someone fears God, they do not need to fear anyone or anything else. I need only position myself favorable with God and nothing else need worry me. It alone beings a singleness of mind, a true focus. All other fears bring distraction and a fragmented life. This favorable position with God, that is, having his approval, is based solely on my relationship with his Son. He says, "This is my Son. Listen to him!"

The fear of God endures forever. It cannot rust, rot, or be stolen. This seeking of God's approval remains strong beyond all other forces because he freely grants his favor to those who seek him. The reason the "fear" endures is that God's favor and love are everlasting. I seek his approval and he grants it and shows how I might live in it more and more. God grants immediate favor for anyone who seeks it. Yet he has so much more to give. His pleasure and delight in me are endless. So as I seek his approval in my life, I find God shows me more of his goodness and also shows me more of my goodness in him.

This continuing fear places me in right relationship with God. I seek him. I listen to him. I avoid his displeasure. I do what pleases him. My greatest satisfaction is in pleasing him. Such fear is the heart of the humility that opens God's kingdom to me (Mt. 18:3). Through the knowledge of his Son, I know that God is on my side, walking with me and helping me always, even as Jesus did in his earthly life. Such fear leads me to die to my own desires when they conflict with God's even as Jesus died. My old life dies and a new one is born where I do not live for myself, but for God. The resurrection shows that the way is clear for this life even past the death of this body.

Such a reward outweighs all others. The treasure of bringing a smile to God will never pass away. Giving, praying, and fasting please him not because they are religious, but because when practiced well, they open my heart to fearing God. Through them I learn to see and desire his approval above everything else and avoid his disapproval with all that I am. They teach me of his love and his ways, so that his smile is my smile.

Lord, I long to fear you more. Let this seeking of approval not be one of seeking to make you like me, but one of pleasing you as you already like me. You are my friend and my companion as well as my Father, who I long to please. I am so glad you already approve of me thanks to Jesus, my companion. Let me come with him to you and hear you say that you are well-pleased. Amen.

Many Words and a Hasty Heart

Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart, to utter anything before God. (Ecc. 5:2)

They think they will be heard because of their many words. (Mt. 6:7)

As I was driving to work, I was arguing with some people in my heart. I planned the words I would say in response to their thoughts and arguments. I laid out my own arguments in my mind to make sure they contained no holes.

Then as I pondered some scripture God spoke these verses to me. I could see plainly that I was planning on nothing other than being quick with my mouth. The context in Ecclesiastes is making vows to God. They must be sincere. And yet Jesus expanded these such vow-taking to include all of my speech: "Let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.'"

I sought to become quick with my mouth. I used a hasty heart. A hasty heart is an impatient one. My impatience is with other people. I planned to corner them with my mouth. Such impatience and arguing does not only fail when I come before God, it also fails when I talk with other people.

The Lord deepened his warning to me in with another verse. Again, this verse is addressing prayer to God specifically, but it addresses a general mode of thought that Jesus labeled "pagan" or simply "unbelieving." The thought is that my words will save, protect, and bring me a hearing and understanding from God and from others. If I don't take care of myself, no one else will. This is the heart of unbelief, a lack of trust.

Again, this is not only untrue in prayer, it also is untrue with words in general. I feel compelled to say so many things to defend myself or make myself look good, but in the end such a torrent of words actually does the opposite. The plans of my hasty heart become obvious because I stop listening and keep talking. I stop listening to other people in the eagerness to control, manipulate, or please them. I stop listening to myself in the eagerness to defend, justify, and appear good. I stop listening to God in the presumption that I already know what he wants, or in the fear that he may want something other than what I want.

As an encouragement, God placed a longing in my heart. The longing was for him and his words to me. Then he told me something else. He said that the longing I have for him he has for me. It is mutual. My words melted away at this. I saw he also longs for each person in this way. Instead of thinking I will be heard because of my many words, I wondered if I might be heard because of the longing behind my words.

What prayer would reach my Father's ears better than "Abba! Father, always near. Nothing is more special than being in your reality, in your presence!" And similarly, with myself, "I praise God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made! I am the salt of the earth and the light of the world." And with other people, "Let me bring you to Jesus, when you are weary and heavy-laden. He will bring you rest." Not just the words, but the longing and love behind them are what count. They go together. A mere sentiment is not enough, but neither are mere words without a life and loving intention behind them.

I need to practice this longing and loving. I need to see the delight that brings God such joy. I need such longing to be a permanent resident in my heart.

Lord, help me to exchange arguing for blessing, worrying for thanking, forgetting for praising as I learn to long for you and your ways in my life. Let this longing and love be what overflows from my heart instead of impatience and the many words that I have. Let me rest in this: You know what I need before I ask because you long for me and are close to me. Father! Be near to me. Amen.