Thirst No More

 My soul thirsts for you,

  my body longs for you

in a dry and weary land

  where there is no water.

- Psalm 63

Desire, like pain, can be hard to diagnose accurately. It can come from many places at once and make it hard to distinguish its source. We can feel a desire and have trouble knowing where it's coming from. We can also associate a desire with something far removed from its actual source. Psychoanalysis recognizes how common this is and digs around the unconscious for answers.

The idea of a “God-shaped hole” in human beings, both individually and collectively, is almost a cliché in Christian circles. It is a general answer to the question, “What am I missing?” Unfortunately, it is not very helpful. Not because it is inaccurate, but because we do not understand what that hole represents. The absence we feel so keenly is, at its deepest level, the absence of a person. We wander in the lonely wilderness of our lives and forget our most important and intimate companion of all: God himself, who has come to walk among us as a human being in Jesus and who surrounds and fills our lives.

Human beings and human society are made to live by love. Not the kind of love that obsesses us, but the kind that fills us. Paul describes the fruit of the Spirit as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Jesus shows us this love in his life with the Father and in the way he lives among us. We will not find such love satisfying if we are focused on the obsessive, greedy kind of love that always asks, “What about me?”

In the wilderness of this world, God's kind of love—the kind of love we were made for—is always available, just as God himself is constantly available through Jesus and his Spirit. Love may not be available in the way we want it, however. In this present age, it is available like water in wells and oases. It is available to those who begin to recognize that nothing but God will truly satisfy, to those who seek him with their whole heart, like a thirsty person in the desert.

This is the “way of love” that Paul encourages us to follow. This is the key to God's kingdom among us and to his will for us: to seek him as though our lives depend on it. The desperation we must have is not because God requires it, but because we so desperately need God. We need Someone with whom we share our whole life, as individuals and in communities, and no one else can take his place. That is the difference between perishing in the wilderness and entering God's promised kingdom today.

What Binds It All Together

Your strong love, O True God, is precious.

     All people run for shelter under the shadow of your wings.

In your house, they eat and are full at your table.

     They drink from the river of your overflowing kindness.

You have the fountain of life that quenches our thirst.

     Your light has opened our eyes and awakened our souls.

(Psalm 36:7-9, The Voice)

The pursuit of satisfaction in a world where immediate gratification is top priority seems like it would be easy. If you want it, you not only can get it, you should get it. There is a moral imperative to getting it all. It is now right, good, and even healthy. And yet, we remained unsatisfied. Desire only leads to more desire.

The only way desire can lead to satisfaction is by taking a back seat. The two primary methods of pushing desire back are the essentials of the worship of the true God: thanksgiving and sacrifice. With thanksgiving we take our eyes off of what we want and what we have received to admire and take pleasure in the Giver of all such things. We can experience his love and find true satisfaction. 

With sacrifice, we have our desires frustrated by our own hand or by someone else's. Instead of responding with resistance and anger, we let go of the desire and cling to God the Rescuer. He saves us from run-away desire and focuses our eyes back on him and his ability to take care of us and fill us. We can experience the deep satisfaction of surrender to the One who loves us and that we adore.

All of this is only possible when God's love is the most precious thing in our lives. This is not love as a concept that we admire nor is it a transaction that we cash in. This love is an active experience that we live. We daily find shelter in this love. We sit at the table of conversation with this love. We find continuous kindness that quenches our thirst for deep acceptance. It is the fountain of life. It is the light in our eyes. This is what binds all the pages of desire and experience together into meaning - one soul, one life.

Nothing is sweeter than love,

Nothing higher, nothing stronger, nothing larger,

nothing more joyful, nothing fuller,

and nothing better in heaven or on earth.

For love descends from God,

and may not rest finally in anything less than God.

A lover of God flies high, runs swiftly, is merry in God,

is free in soul, gives all for all and has all in all,

rests in one high goodness above all things,

from whom all goodness flows and proceeds.

The lover of God beholds not only the gift,

but the giver above all gifts.

(from True Serenity, selections from The Imitation of Christ)

Getting Out of Being "in Want"

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. (C.S. Lewis)

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want."  What would it be like to not be "in want"?  That is where I find myself too often - stuck "in want."  Desire is a cruel master.  It never has enough.  Desire can only be fulfilled when it submits to something greater.  Desire leaves us before half the journey is done to fulfillment..  Half-hearted desire wanders and gets lost, taking us one way and then another, but never further.  Only with the Lord as my shepherd will desire become part of deep satisfaction, the place where I can say, "I shall not be in want."

"Now I lay me down to sleep."  I used to say that prayer as a child.  I felt such comfort in the softness of my bed and the darkness of the room and one of my parents close by.  Recovery comes from such rest.  As I laid myself down, I also laid aside the days troubles and concerns.  Something in a child can forget such things.  God brings me to that place where I can lie down and lay down, so that I can enjoy what he has given to me.

The place of my rest is the green pasture of my life.  Many people pray "Give us today our daily bread" on many Sundays.  Yesterday's pastures are brown.  Tomorrow's pastures are not yet grown.  The green pastures reside in today's life.  Only in these pastures can I find rest instead of regret or worry.  The comings and goings of this day are where the hand of my Shepherd can nourish me.  Even remembering and hoping live in the present if they have any life at all.  God satisfies my soul as we walk together into this day, this hour, this moment, with him as my guide.

The great danger is that I will walk by that place of rest and green pastures.  Instead of lying down in trust and hope, I take up my life in a restless rush after empty dreams.  Instead of laying down my troubles and concerns into his hands, I clench onto them with determination to fix what I can on my own.  Instead of seeing the pastures green around me, I think they must be greener on the "other side."  The other side being a past I cannot recover or a future I only think I know.  I do not say, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places" (Psalm 16:6) or "Surely, the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it." (Genesis 28:16)  I say, "I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones. . . and I'll say to myself,'. . .Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry.'"  (Luke 12:18-19)  Such is the nature of desire as a master: it is greed, which is idolatry.

Resting.  Receiving this day's events as nourishment.  Abandoning greed.  My soul will be satisfied and restored on this path.  It is not the denial of my desires, but placing it under the rule of God.  Under his influence, desire can lead to what is good, what is true, and what is beautiful.  In these I find satisfaction for my soul.  Desire is fulfilled after it is laid aside for greater things.  It has done its job.  Lord, let my desires lead me to you, your ways, and your guidance.  Show me how to make them servants instead of masters of my life so that my soul may be restored in paths of righteousness for your name's sake.  Amen.

The Sort of Person Who Prays

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. (Psalm 23:1)

For Thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

I haven't usually thought of the beginning of Psalm 23 as having to do with prayer. Lately, though, God has been teaching me about prayer, so it has been on my mind. Why shouldn't it be about prayer? Prayer is the primary means by which God desires to fulfill my desires.

Prayer is not just about my desires, however. A mistake I have made, though, is that I have often assumed it had nothing to do with my desires. Somehow praying God's will had become mostly praying, "Not my will." My desires need an overhaul, but ignoring them or pretending that they don't matter is not God's way of changing them. He wants to redeem my "wanter" so it is in line with his will.

I see this as having desire that are my own and yet also within his will. I do not think that God merely wants to control me anymore than I merely want to control my children. He wants to teach me and help me grow into Christ-likeness, where all I do is in unity with him and also fully my own.

I felt joyful at the realization that the first part of this growth is realizing that he wants to give and provide for me completely, so that I will have no unfulfilled desire - "I shall not be in want." What else would a loving father want?

Then I understood that the end of the Lord's Prayer may not only be a word of praise, but a recognition that God will answer all my requests because he has the kingdom, the power, and the glory, and he wants to share them with me. He wants to give his kingdom without end, his power without limit, and his glory without diminishing.

Really, I find that God wants pray-ers as well as worshipers (aren't they the same, really?). He seeks those who pray because he wants to give them what they ask for. Whatever barriers I have can be overcome with this desire: to become the sort of person who prays and is answered. This is God's will, his desire, and I can share it with him.

Lord, let these words be written on my heart: "I shall not want" and "For Thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever." You have so much to give and yet I receive very little. Increase my faith and hope in your good promises. Change my heart into a faithful one that walks with you. Isn't this what belief and trust are really about? To stay with you, I need to know and trust your goodness, Father. Impress such knowledge on me. Amen.