The Reward of Fear

The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. (Ps. 19:10)

Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but store up for yourselves treasure in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. (Mt. 6:19-20)

Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore, stand in awe of God. (Ecc. 5:7)

In the first part of Matthew 6, Jesus takes pains to explain that I must "be careful not to do [my] acts of righteousness before men to be seen by them." The motivation is for keeping them secret is missing out on the "reward from [my] Father in heaven." What is this reward?

Jesus gives a clue that the reward is in heaven by immediately following the three "acts of righteousness" with instruction on where to put my savings account: heaven. "Build up a savings in heaven and you'll never face a recession or loss or robbery." My ears are accustomed to hearing that savings as mere after-life promises.

Not that such promises are empty. They just do not cover the whole plan. The savings is not only a 401k, available only after my final "retirement" from this age. It is an active reservoir from which I draw each day, which is why Jesus confidently explains that I need not worry about my life or my body in the face of such abundance. (Mt. 6:25)

The reward that God promises is incorruptible. It does not fade or fail. It is permanent. In this sense, it is much more than a savings, which is kept for special occasions or rainy days. This reward is meant to be used like a spending account and enjoyed, not hoarded, because it cannot be lost.

So what sort of reward does secret and sincere giving, praying, and fasting yield? What sort of reward dissipates with seeking of people's approval or the fear of their criticism? The reward is the fear of God. It is pure and endures forever. It is meant to last and meant to be enjoyed.

Fear is the seeking of someone's approval, and, by implication, avoiding their disapproval. With impersonal objects, like lightning and gravity, I place myself favorably with the force so that I do not incur its "wrath." Similarly, with people, fear is a positioning of myself in their favor so as to avoid their displeasure. When people's approval becomes important, desire for God's approval disappears. Similarly, when God's approval is most important, the need for people's approval disappears.

If the fear of God is pure, it is free from any foreign object. The fear of God shares no other fear. When someone fears God, they do not need to fear anyone or anything else. I need only position myself favorable with God and nothing else need worry me. It alone beings a singleness of mind, a true focus. All other fears bring distraction and a fragmented life. This favorable position with God, that is, having his approval, is based solely on my relationship with his Son. He says, "This is my Son. Listen to him!"

The fear of God endures forever. It cannot rust, rot, or be stolen. This seeking of God's approval remains strong beyond all other forces because he freely grants his favor to those who seek him. The reason the "fear" endures is that God's favor and love are everlasting. I seek his approval and he grants it and shows how I might live in it more and more. God grants immediate favor for anyone who seeks it. Yet he has so much more to give. His pleasure and delight in me are endless. So as I seek his approval in my life, I find God shows me more of his goodness and also shows me more of my goodness in him.

This continuing fear places me in right relationship with God. I seek him. I listen to him. I avoid his displeasure. I do what pleases him. My greatest satisfaction is in pleasing him. Such fear is the heart of the humility that opens God's kingdom to me (Mt. 18:3). Through the knowledge of his Son, I know that God is on my side, walking with me and helping me always, even as Jesus did in his earthly life. Such fear leads me to die to my own desires when they conflict with God's even as Jesus died. My old life dies and a new one is born where I do not live for myself, but for God. The resurrection shows that the way is clear for this life even past the death of this body.

Such a reward outweighs all others. The treasure of bringing a smile to God will never pass away. Giving, praying, and fasting please him not because they are religious, but because when practiced well, they open my heart to fearing God. Through them I learn to see and desire his approval above everything else and avoid his disapproval with all that I am. They teach me of his love and his ways, so that his smile is my smile.

Lord, I long to fear you more. Let this seeking of approval not be one of seeking to make you like me, but one of pleasing you as you already like me. You are my friend and my companion as well as my Father, who I long to please. I am so glad you already approve of me thanks to Jesus, my companion. Let me come with him to you and hear you say that you are well-pleased. Amen.

The Need to Be Needed

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods. . . (Psalm 63:5)

In a world best described in Psalm 63:1 as a "dry and weary land where there is no water," there apparently is hope of satisfaction. The psalm reports a grand feast available in the praise and wonder of God. Such a feast is not merely figurative, but real. It is real sustenance.

Because it is a real sustenance, the lack of such a relationship with God - one filled with wonder, praise, and fulfillment - is a real emptiness. Thus it is important that the world keep such "food" figurative and other-worldly.

But that is beside the point that I sensed God was making to me this morning. When faced with this psalm of satisfaction in God, I asked him, "I know that you do not need people, but love them intensely. How can I grow into this?"

At the back of this question is a realization that the critics and opponents of Jesus hated the crowds of people and yet feared them and loved their respect, their fear, and even their approval. Jesus was the opposite apparently. He loved the crowds and had compassion on them, but did not fear them, nor need their respect, fear, or approval.

The answer was quick this time. "You need to be needed. Instead you just need to know that you are needed." As I chewed on that, two things came to mind. First, I could readily grasp what it was like to be with a person who needs to be needed versus one who knows that they are needed. One argues, pushes, and begs. The other offers, waits, and longs.

I have a large need to be needed. This need wars with my satisfaction in God often. This thought opened up a second thought. The desire to be needed is not bad in itself. I think it is grounded in the knowledge that I am unique and therefore significant. With an eye on myself as a creation, I see that my need to be needed can be satisfied with the knowledge that God has a place and work for me to do that is unique to my condition and being. This is where my need to be needed can find a home.

So Jesus says, "You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world. You are important." Although the earth is full of the waste of much that is important and focused on trivialities, God will not waste what he has made. Even those who rebel against him will find they are part of his purpose of showing his love to everyone. That being said, God's desire is for each person to take their place in his kingdom, creating, building, loving. It is a marvel that there is room enough for everyone without having mere copies.

I need to let go of that need to be needed and embrace the knowledge that I am needed because of what God is making in me. Also, each person is important because of what God is making in each of them. It is very possible that my need to be needed sidetracks people from their calling and purpose when I want them to affirm mine. No doubt encouragement is a good thing, but it will never satisfy that gnawing need for approval.

I hope to experience more of that Psalm 63 satisfaction by letting go of that need to be needed and reflecting frequently on how God has a place and work for me in his kingdom. From Psalm 63, thankfulness and praise may help me to find that satisfaction. I am learning how that thank God for who I am and where I am as I recognize more of who he is and where he is. In this way praise lead back to thankfulness. The more I see and know that God longs for intimacy with me and is deeply involved in my life from day to day, the more I understand that he wants me to be with him and work with him on very real things in my world.

Lord, forgive me for weighing my desire to serve others mostly against how much they will fill my need for approval. It pushes me toward seeking recognition and away from loving people. Teach me contentment in my assigned post so I might serve other people with love and without an eye toward greatness of any kind. Have mercy on me, Father. Your approval is all I need. Amen.

Richness Apart from Wealth or Poverty

Better the little the righteous have

than the wealth of the wicked,

for the power of the wicked will be broken,

but the Lord upholds the righteous. (Ps. 37:16-17)

In the middle of this "Do no fret" psalm is the promise of how good life with God can be. Poverty is not good. Whether it be poverty in money, spirit, or friends, it is an emptiness that God does not desire for me.

In seeking God, the righteous will have trials and poverty in many things: "No one can serve two masters; you cannot serve both God and Money." and "All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." Discipleship is the "narrow way" that attracts few people and the resources from them, so it ends up as "the hard, but right way." God does not make it hard, other people do, even if through mere indifference and lack of concern.

In this light, poverty may seem a virtue, but it is not. It is not the best that God longs to give. Riches are not especially helpful either, really. God longs to bestow richness in my life, however. This is how he upholds those who seek after him. He grants a richness in life that transcends earthly wealth or poverty of all sorts.

The danger here, especially for me, is the desire to have God grant richness without earthly "wealth." Money or friends can be seen as somehow less than or separate from God's provision. Often he does uphold me through the goodness of others and the work that I am paid to do.

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That being said, I also see how I depend on other people more than enjoy them. I may be like a the person who asked for God to save him and refused the raft, the powerboat, and the helicopter that God sent through other people. I may be more likely to be like King Saul who let his spiritual journey be decided by what "the people" wanted from him. Jesus provides a good example in this: "But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men." (Jn.2:24)

Somehow I want to learn how to enjoy the "little" we have, depending on God to uphold me. Only when I thoroughly depend on God will I be able to enjoy people and find peace when I am with them and be thankful for them. My lack of peace and gratitude come from an over-dependence on people, I believe. I do not exactly need to get away from them all the time because that merely shows I am overly affected by them. Instead, through solitude and silence, I need to learn how to enjoy people by understanding them and depend on God by walking with him moment by moment.