Festooning Psalm 103

My dear soul,

    praise the Lord, this God!
May we always remember
    what a blessing he is!

You forgive!
You heal!
You redeem!
You crown me!
You satisfy!
I am so satisfied, so full, so energized,
    I could fly!

You see me among the oppressed,
    those wandering like sheep with no shepherd.
I need you to work for my good
    and to make me good.
That is what you showed Moses so long ago
    and what you always show your people.
Yes, that goodness comes from your heart,
    so gentle and kind,
    so hard to get angry
      because you love me do dearly.

Lord, I do not deserve it,

    but you don't accuse or hold a grudge,
    or treat me like I treat others,
      how I treat you.
It's just who you are,
    completely accepting and embracing
    whoever seeks you out,
    throwing out my sins
      never to be seen again,
    treating me like a long-lost son
      so passionate because I am yours,
      so gentle because you could easily blow me away.

I don't  have long here, Lord,
    and I won't really be remembered.
    I'm just like stubble blown from a field.
So I will have to trust your love -
    your never-ending love -
    to keep me around,
    to make things right for my children
      and their children, and on and on,
    to make good your good promises to me,
    to remind me of the joy of doing it your way,
      the right way.

Your good ways are firmly set so near me
    and as far as I'll ever go.
They will always be over and above
    every other plan or rule I can see.

Bless you, my good Lord!
King of angels!
Commander of all forces!
Creator and Owner of the universe!
Bless you!

Oh, bless him, my dear soul,
    who sees even you.

Space Versus Privacy

When you pray, you open yourself to the influence of the Power which has revealed itself as Love.  The Power gives you freedom and independence.  Once touched by this Power, you are no longer swayed back and forth by the countless opinions, ideas and feelings which flow through you.  You have found a center for your life that gives you a creative distance so that everything you see, hear and feel can be tested against the source.  Christ is the man who in the most revealing way made clear that prayer means sharing in the power of God.  It enabled him to turn his world around, it gave him the attraction to draw countless men out of the chains of their existence, but it also stirred up aggression which brought him to his death.  Christ, who is called the Son of Man and the Son of God, has shown what it means to pray.  In him, God himself became visible for the fall and rise of many.  (Henri Nouwen, With Open Hands)

One of my favorite images for solitude is sitting in a wide open place.  I grew up near to a canyon and always loved to be near that wide open place.  Vacationing in the Northwest was beautiful, but I would find it hard to be so enclosed in trees since I am so used to the open.  My drive to work goes by a large caldera, an open meadow in the midst of mountain peaks.  I also have enjoyed the desert for its loneliness and openness.

In some of my prayer times, I settle down into an open inner space where I can hear God and leave distractions behind.  When Nouwen talks about a creative space, this is what comes to mind.  Solitude and silence are typical ways in which God can meet people.  I see them as space and openness.  Distractions and temptations crowd me, but God doesn't.  It seems to be in his nature to work in these spaces.

It takes space to make a person.  The space is not mere privacy, separation for other people so I can do what I want to, when I want to.  Privacy makes emptiness.  Most of the things I do in privacy are soul-destroying.  Instead of privacy, I need space, open and inviting.  I need to make room in my life to really be with people.  This takes time alone, but not privacy.

More importantly, such space invites God to speak and teaches me to hear him.  Privacy shuts God out with the clamor of my desires, distractions, and worries.  I need prayer that is open to God's influence, open to his touch.  Such prayer occurs where I make space for God.  It is interesting to me how quickly a "quiet time" can become a private thing in the worst sense instead of a creative distance where I can hear and be heard.  I stand apart and alone so I can learn to draw near without pretending, pushing, or presuming.

Some of the most acetic people in history, the Desert Fathers, understood the concept of space versus privacy.

A brother came to see a certain hermit and, as he was leaving, he said,"Forgive me, Abba, for preventing you from keeping your rule." The hermit replied, "My rule is to welcome you with hospitality and to send you away in peace." (Desert Fathers)

 Creating space does not make friends necessarily.  Not everyone will be happy with such an effort.  Space does create compassion, however.  It is a city on a hill.  It is what makes followers of Jesus into "stars in the universe."  I think that 5 minutes with someone who has real openness in their life is worth many hours with someone who has a crowded, driven life.  The sacrifice is worth it.

Creating space begins with understanding that God has space for me.  "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love."  (Psalm 103:8)  "Love is patient."  (1 Corinthians 13:4) When I begin to live in that space, that patient love, I begin to allow such space for other people as well.  I find room for myself when walk into the wide open space of God's love and power.  I find room for myself when I do not crowd other people.  How often do I draw near to other people to pretend I am something I am not, push them into what I think is best for them, or presume that they should see me a certain way?

Lord, I need space.  Deliver me from my tendency to try find space by taking it from other people.  Instead let me find the openness of your arms and the quiet of your gaze.  Let me live under your eye and in your heart, open to what you have for me today.  Amen.

The Good Thing, the Bad Thing

Good deeds do not always lead to God.  There are good deeds that can take us away from God.  This is a tragedy in life.  One of the main reasons that Jesus died was because he pointed this out repeatedly and severely.  He pointed out the difference between the "good" deeds of the Pharisees and the good deeds of many of the sinners.  In one of his teachings he said,

Not everyone who says to me, "Lord, Lord" will enter the kingdom of heaven.  Many will come to me one that day and say, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and cast out demons and perform many miracles?"  Then I will tell them plainly, "I never knew you.  Away from me, you evildoers!"  (Matthew 7:21-23)

It is possible to do "good" things, but not the good thing.  As a matter of fact, many "good" things keep people out of the kingdom of heaven and away from God.  What keeps us out of the kingdom is the idea that there are some things that are good in themselves apart from being with God.  Jesus came to say, "Only God is good."  There are no actions or intentions performed by people on their own that oblige God to allow their entry into his kingdom or his life.

Since no "good" deeds can oblige God to bring us into his family and into his life, we can only enter by grace, God's strength and undeserved favor.  Grace is opposed to earning.  "Good" deeds that do not lead or contribute to a personal relationship with God are efforts to earn.  This is why Jesus constantly pointed out that the "sinners" of his day were entering his rule before the "good" people.  They were not doing "good" things to earn (demand) God's approval, but instead were seeking to be near to Jesus and follow him.

From this we also learn that there is no bad deed that can exclude us from God's kingdom.  If bad deeds lead to regret, sorrow, rethinking how we think (repentance), and seeking Jesus, then they become good.  Bad deeds become bad when they separate us from God (which they do), but can become good if they lead us to confession and repentance and doing truly good things.  "Bad" people can find God sooner than "good" people because of repentance.  For most of us, we find it easier to repent of the bad things we have done rather than repent of the "good" things we have done.

Really, there is only one good deed:  Jesus' death on the cross.  Anything good must come out of this goodness.  Any "good" thing done outside of this goodness as competition to it, as evidence that I don't need it, or in willful ignorance of its necessity end up taking me away from God and his plans for me and all people.  When my good deeds come from gratitude for the cross, praise to the God who planned such a deed for my sake, and desire to imitate the cross in my life by putting to death the things that come "naturally" but lead me away from God, then they are truly good because they come from the good of the cross.

Perhaps there is also only one bad thing.  Perhaps that is what Original Sin is about.  All bad things come from that first willful act of disobedience and distrust of God.  There is nothing new under the sun.  Bad things can look surprisingly "good," but when they lead us from the loving arms of God they are bad.  Such bad things can be unrepentant actions of self-service that hurt ourselves and others, or they may be acts of self-righteousness that ignore our daily need of God in our life.  Either way they come from a lie that is told: "You don't need God; you can be your own god."  They come from a world living out that lie to its fullest.  They come from an inward propensity to "make it on my own" and "do what I want to do."

Certainly, God is merciful.  He will not turn away people who want to be with him, even at the last moment.  The thief on the cross stands as an icon of hope.  Our good deed may not be much, but when it is turned toward Jesus as our hope and deliverance, it is enough because of the grace poured out on all of us through the cross.  There have been people reported in the Bible who have been delivered by God without knowing much about him: Rahab the whore, a Syrophoenician idol-worshiper, and a thief on a cross.  This shows the kind of God we might serve.  One who is "compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love."  (Psalm 103:8)

However, we must be honest about each of these people.  Rahab was one of an entire city.  The thief was one of a great crowd who gathered to see Jesus die.  Many will not come to grace.  The gospel is God's power exerted to save people, his last, best word of mercy and grace, his effort to open up his kingdom to everyone and anyone.  God's mercy to people who do not know Jesus is not the good news primarily, but a loophole of his kindness.  The good news is that we need not guess nor do we have to wait until we are at death's door to draw near to God.  We can see his mercy and live in it through Jesus.  The good news is that the good deed is done and that we merely need to live with it and live by it and live in it.  The kingdom of God has always been, since God has always been king, but now we see that his rule is one of grace and mercy and those who can accept this through Jesus can enter.

The reason we know we are delivered is that we can live with God's voice in our hearts and God's presence at our side daily.  He will not abandon us to death any more than he abandons us in this present age.  The life we begin with him will continue and grow, just as existence without him will also continue and degrade.  The gospel, the good news is that we can start living with Jesus and like Jesus now.

So not all "good" things lead to God and not all bad things lead away from him.  What is needed is a will set on choosing Jesus and his way rather than our own.

Lord, may I learn to see and live in your goodness rather than my own.  May I allow my sins to lead me to your feet.  May I live by the cross so I might be raised with you in every aspect of my life.  Amen.