God's Will to Forgive and Heal

Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.  “I am willing,” he said.  “Be clean!”  (Mark 1:41)

Somehow I have come to believe that it is God’s will that I remain in sickness.  Somehow I have come to see Jesus saying to me, “I am not willing.  Remain unclean.”  My prayers have been heavily affected by this belief.  They are filled with the phrase “Your will be done” which does not really seek God’s will, but instead embraces resignation that God really is unwilling.

It is not God that is unwilling.  The One who came with the good news, with the announcement of the year of the Lord’s favor, did not ever withhold healing and forgiveness.  He reached out his hand and touched and healed and forgave without measure and without hesitation.  No, it is not God who is unwilling.

I find that I am unwilling.  Somehow I hold onto my sicknesses of mind, body, and soul.  I refuse to give them up.  I do not see God with the trust that Jesus had, but instead I am full of hesitation and doubt.  His promises are laid out in the Bible: “Praise the Lord, O my soul, . . . who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.”  (Psalm 103:1,2)  His life is displayed in Jesus, the compassionate healer, the flagrant forgiver.  It is plain.  God is willing, but somehow I am not.

Faith provides the key and the answer.  Simply, I do not trust God.  I would rather wrestle with my sins and sickness than give them up into his hands.  My faith is weak.  I cannot picture what health and wholeness is like in my body, mind, and soul.  I cannot picture such love and brotherhood in my church.  I cannot picture peace and unity in the world.  Help my unbelief!

That is what Jesus does.  Not only does he live.  Not only does he heal.  Not only does he forgive.  He sends his Spirit into my heart so that I may also accept these gifts and live in them, live with them.  Faith becomes living with God and his will rather than living apart from him in doubt.  My Jesus is where my faith lives and grows.

Lord, I struggle hard to believe.  I want to let that go.  I try hard to be healed and forgiven.  I want to let that go, too.  Instead I want to embrace a faith in Jesus, which also contains the faith of Jesus.  Renew my mind, so that I my see and live in faith instead of doubt.  For your sake and for your glory.  Amen.

One practice of seeing in faith is letting go of my doubts.  With the Lord dwelling in me, for instance, pride does not dwell.  I have old thought-habits of pride, but with forgiveness, they are merely thoughts.  I want to learn to put them aside gently and say, “I know you are willing.  I know you live in me.  Where you live pride does not dwell.  These are just old habits that need to be cleaned up.

The Sort of Person Who Prays

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. (Psalm 23:1)

For Thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

I haven't usually thought of the beginning of Psalm 23 as having to do with prayer. Lately, though, God has been teaching me about prayer, so it has been on my mind. Why shouldn't it be about prayer? Prayer is the primary means by which God desires to fulfill my desires.

Prayer is not just about my desires, however. A mistake I have made, though, is that I have often assumed it had nothing to do with my desires. Somehow praying God's will had become mostly praying, "Not my will." My desires need an overhaul, but ignoring them or pretending that they don't matter is not God's way of changing them. He wants to redeem my "wanter" so it is in line with his will.

I see this as having desire that are my own and yet also within his will. I do not think that God merely wants to control me anymore than I merely want to control my children. He wants to teach me and help me grow into Christ-likeness, where all I do is in unity with him and also fully my own.

I felt joyful at the realization that the first part of this growth is realizing that he wants to give and provide for me completely, so that I will have no unfulfilled desire - "I shall not be in want." What else would a loving father want?

Then I understood that the end of the Lord's Prayer may not only be a word of praise, but a recognition that God will answer all my requests because he has the kingdom, the power, and the glory, and he wants to share them with me. He wants to give his kingdom without end, his power without limit, and his glory without diminishing.

Really, I find that God wants pray-ers as well as worshipers (aren't they the same, really?). He seeks those who pray because he wants to give them what they ask for. Whatever barriers I have can be overcome with this desire: to become the sort of person who prays and is answered. This is God's will, his desire, and I can share it with him.

Lord, let these words be written on my heart: "I shall not want" and "For Thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever." You have so much to give and yet I receive very little. Increase my faith and hope in your good promises. Change my heart into a faithful one that walks with you. Isn't this what belief and trust are really about? To stay with you, I need to know and trust your goodness, Father. Impress such knowledge on me. Amen.