"A Quiet More Deep Than Death"

Rest

I.

When round the earth the Father's hands
  Have gently drawn the dark;
Sent off the sun to fresher lands,
  And curtained in the lark;
'Tis sweet, all tired with glowing day,
  To fade with faded light;
To lie once more, the old weary way,
  Upfolded in the night.

A mother o'er the couch may bend,
  And rose-leaf kisses heap:
In soothing dreams with sleep they blend,
  Till even in dreams we sleep.
And, if we wake while night is dumb,
  'Tis sweet to turn and say,
It is an hour ere dawning come,
  And I will sleep till day.






II.






There is a dearer, warmer bed,
  Where one all day may lie,
Earth's bosom pillowing the head,
  And let the world go by.
Instead of mother's love-lit eyes,
  The church's storied pane,
All blank beneath cold starry skies,
  Or sounding in the rain.






The great world, shouting, forward fares:
  This chamber, hid from none,
Hides safe from all, for no one cares
  For those whose work is done.
Cheer thee, my heart, though tired and slow
  An unknown grassy place
Somewhere on earth is waiting now
  To rest thee from thy race.









III.






There is a calmer than all calms,
  A quiet more deep than death:
A folding in the Father's palms,
  A breathing in his breath;
A rest made deeper by alarms
  And stormy sounds combined:
The child within its mother's arms
  Sleeps sounder for the wind.





There needs no curtained bed to hide
  The world with all its wars,
Nor grassy cover to divide
  From sun and moon and stars
A window open to the skies,
  A sense of changeless life,
With oft returning still surprise
  Repels the sounds of strife.







IV.






As one bestrides a wild scared horse
  Beneath a stormy moon,
And still his heart, with quiet force,
  Beats on its own calm tune;
So if my heart with trouble now
  Be throbbing in my breast,
Thou art my deeper heart, and Thou,
  O God, dost ever rest.






When mighty sea-winds madly blow,
  And tear the scattered waves;
As still as summer woods, below
  Lie darkling ocean caves:
The wind of words may toss my heart,
  But what is that to me!
'Tis but a surface storm--Thou art
  My deep, still, resting sea.

(Geroge MacDonald,1864)

Peace: Rest for the Soul

The last several days I have been hit in the face with peace.  From Sunday's sermon to my own devotions to God to conversations with people around me, I have been hounded by God about peace.  It started with a letter I wrote to God in which I found that one of my greatest desires is for God's peace in my life.  Today friend challenged me in her blog with the question, "What will you do?"

My experience in the last several days has been more a matter of asking, "What will you not do?"  I have numerous "peace-stealers" in my life.  As I walk through my day, I find that I am given to follow all sorts of rabbit-trails away from God's peace.  A couple of examples - as I came to my front door after work and my family was away at an Irish Dance practice for the kids, I felt a burden come on me.  I was weighed down by all the things I needed to get done and a frantic to-do list was already building in my mind.  Another situation surprised me.  A complement from a friend unsettled me.  I found my mind whirling and planning for how I could continue to impress this friend further to get more complements.

I have already tried to live in peace that was not not from God.  The peace of indifference is tempting at times, but certainly has no relationship with the peace of God which is coupled with love and joy.  The peace of ease is more tempting still, except that it makes me irritated with people (not loving at all) when they wreck my plans for ease and quiet.  I realize that one of the big problems with seeking God's peace is that I confuse it with other forms of "peace" that get thrown around.

Perhaps one of the the best description of God's peace is given by Jesus (surprise!) when he tells all those who are weary and burdened to take on his yoke.  Straining against a yoke like a cow or an ox was not the first idea I had about seeking peace.  Some sort of spiritual calm or release from troubles in my life seem to make more sense.  Instead Jesus says, "Learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls."  (Matthew 11:29)  Jesus touches on where I really need rest: my soul.

The "yoke" of a Jewish rabbi in Jesus' time was his specific teaching.  The teaching of such rabbis (Jesus included) was not primarily book-learning, but life-learning.  We might do better to be apprentices rather than students of Jesus because of the typical idea of learning in our day.  A disciple of a rabbi was learning to become like the rabbi.  They were not trying merely to understand what the rabbi said, they were trying to do what the rabbi did.  So Peter got out of the boat to walk on the water as any disciple should who followed their rabbi.  Rabbi Jesus, in picking his disciples, was saying in essence, "I believe you can be like me!"

So I find two things at work.  First, I need to lay down my burdens.  I would call them burdens and not my work or my calling.  Burdens are the many things I take on myself.  God does not put them on me.  I gather them like a dust mop gathers dust.  And they stick.  When I am overwhelmed, I have been practicing reminding myself that God has given me enough time to do what he wants me to do.  Usually that means I do not have to hurry if I am trying to walk with him in my life rather than trying to please everybody else and myself.  God is not the author of hurry and worry.

Laying down burdens is really hard work!  However, Jesus' promise is that as hard as it is, it is much easier than trying to keep living with the burdens I gather for myself.  In order to take hold of Jesus' yoke I have to let go of the one I keep trying to pull myself.  In daily terms, this means that I have to learn how to say "No" and practice the first part of the Serenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."  As thoughts come that worry or hurry me, I am learning how to let them go and focus on what is at hand and what God would have of me.

At the heart of this is self-denial, or taking up my cross.  I need to learn not to harbor and to continually focus on my own desires.  I do not have to try to get rid of them entirely.  That is not possible or beneficial.  Rather, by putting them aside, I begin to learn which one are burdens and which ones are delights.  I learn how God can satisfy all my desires so that I do not have to worry about them.  I learn that the pride of uncontrolled desire is what makes my life miserable and ugly, while self-denial creates room for humility.  If I am not spending all my time worrying about how to get what I want, I might stand a chance at doing what God wants (his will).  I can thoroughly trust him to look out for my interests and meet my desires.

After laying some burdens down I am ready to take up the "easy yoke."  Why easy?  Well, I think it's at least easier than what I try to do on my own.  The Bible calls "doing on my own" living "in the flesh."  Instead God has provided grace which is his strength available to do what I cannot do on my own or in my flesh.  If I live by grace, I live by the loving strength that God provides for people who do his will, what he wants.  In terms of the yoke, I have the lift it up and put it on, but Jesus himself is my yoke-fellow.  So who is really doing the work?  Certainly not me.  But I do need to submit to the yoke and go where he goes.

When self-denial does its work by God's grace in my life, I find there is space for humility.  The rest that Jesus offers is not a vacation nor is it anesthesia.  The rest comes from humility.  Peace comes from humility among other things.  Humility is not merely realizing how wrong I am, but more realizing how right and good God is.  Humility lives where I am nothing and God is everything.  Not to say I am worthless, but that my worth is found in how I relate with God, live with God, and serve my God.  Humility is so much more than being "sorry."  It is knowing my proper place in God's great universe.

So, I am finding that peace comes from letting my desires go easily and quickly in favor of doing what God wants.  In that practice my whole life (my soul) begins to become more ordered by God's commands.  Each part of my life (mind, heart, body, social sphere) begins to work together with God as one whole life instead of as fighting factions, mind vs. body, etc.  Meaning and direction start to form in this ordered, integrated soul and make obedience to God possible.  That is where this peaceful "soul rest" comes out: obedience to Christ.  In God's kingdom, in that most intimate relationship with Christ, obedience is abundance.

All that to say I will seek peace by:

1. Seeking, studying, and asking for the peace that Christ had as he lived, loved, and served other people in his earthly ministry,
2. Learning to say "No" to my desires in everyday life and through deliberate practices by God's grace, 
3. Learning to say "Yes" to the commands of Christ my Teacher in everyday life and through deliberate practices by God's grace, and 
4. Anticipating and seeking a life where God is everything to me and where I rely on him to fulfill my needs and desires.

How would you find peace, rest for your soul?  How would you learn from Christ?

Conflict in This Present Age

 How often have I failed to find faithfulness, where I thought I possessed it. How many times I have found it where I least expected.

Who is the man who is able to keep himself so warily and circumspectly as not sometimes to come into some snare of perplexity? But he who trusteth in Thee, O Lord, and seeketh Thee with an unfeigned heart, doth not so easily slip. And if he fall into any tribulation, howsoever he may be entangled, yet very quickly he shall be delivered through Thee, or by Thee shall be comforted, because Thou wilt not forsake him that trusteth in Thee unto the end.

Oh, how good and peacemaking a thing it is to be silent concerning others, and not carelessly to believe all reports, nor to hand them on further; how good also to lay one's self open to few, to seek ever to have Thee as the beholder of the heart.  (Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, Chapter 55)

In dealing with conflict, I am encouraged to know that failing to find faithfulness in other people is not just a current thing, since Thomas a Kempis was writing about it in the 12th century.  Also, I am encouraged to know that faithfulness does come up in a number of places where I least expect it.  This shows me that such faithfulness is not a consistent practice in people's lives, but a common one built into the creation.  It explains why I can trust God to show me faithfulness and kindness, often through unexpected persons, while not being able to rely on any one person in particular for complete faithfulness.



Peace and rest cannot be expected to last a long time anywhere in this current age.  This goes doubly in relationships.  I often run into some "snare of perplexity," not matter how hard I may try to avoid it.  This is why a Kempis recommends not seeking peace and rest as much as trust in God and his comfort.  Trying to find peace in this world leads to anger and depression.  Rather, I find hope in knowing that God will quickly save or quickly comfort me in the face of all trials.

Silence leads to much peace with other people.  Often I am tempted to "share" and "talk things out" when silence would serve best.  In communication, no one mode answers every need, but silence is seldom used for anything but resentment ("the silent treatment").  Silence so often protects me from hurting other people through harsh or slanderous words.  Silence also protects me from exercising pride and bitterness which hurt myself.  The helplessness of silence can move me to pray and trust in God more when I am concerned for the good of God, others, and myself.  Often true: "Much dreaming and many words are meaningless; therefore stand in awe of God."  (Ecclesiastes 5:7)

Father, conflict is a regular part of this present age.  I spend time fuming about it and trying so hard to avoid it.  Let me instead walk hand in hand with you, knowing you alone can deliver me from trouble and only you can truly comfort my aching heart.  Lead me to a few who I can trust and let me lead others to the only one they can truly trust.  Amen.

Richness Apart from Wealth or Poverty

Better the little the righteous have

than the wealth of the wicked,

for the power of the wicked will be broken,

but the Lord upholds the righteous. (Ps. 37:16-17)

In the middle of this "Do no fret" psalm is the promise of how good life with God can be. Poverty is not good. Whether it be poverty in money, spirit, or friends, it is an emptiness that God does not desire for me.

In seeking God, the righteous will have trials and poverty in many things: "No one can serve two masters; you cannot serve both God and Money." and "All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." Discipleship is the "narrow way" that attracts few people and the resources from them, so it ends up as "the hard, but right way." God does not make it hard, other people do, even if through mere indifference and lack of concern.

In this light, poverty may seem a virtue, but it is not. It is not the best that God longs to give. Riches are not especially helpful either, really. God longs to bestow richness in my life, however. This is how he upholds those who seek after him. He grants a richness in life that transcends earthly wealth or poverty of all sorts.

The danger here, especially for me, is the desire to have God grant richness without earthly "wealth." Money or friends can be seen as somehow less than or separate from God's provision. Often he does uphold me through the goodness of others and the work that I am paid to do.

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That being said, I also see how I depend on other people more than enjoy them. I may be like a the person who asked for God to save him and refused the raft, the powerboat, and the helicopter that God sent through other people. I may be more likely to be like King Saul who let his spiritual journey be decided by what "the people" wanted from him. Jesus provides a good example in this: "But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men." (Jn.2:24)

Somehow I want to learn how to enjoy the "little" we have, depending on God to uphold me. Only when I thoroughly depend on God will I be able to enjoy people and find peace when I am with them and be thankful for them. My lack of peace and gratitude come from an over-dependence on people, I believe. I do not exactly need to get away from them all the time because that merely shows I am overly affected by them. Instead, through solitude and silence, I need to learn how to enjoy people by understanding them and depend on God by walking with him moment by moment.

From Dependence to Enjoyment

Idea about peace and thankfulness:

True thankfulness moves me from dependence to enjoyment of earthly things. So dependence indicates a lack of thankfulness. True enjoyment only comes when I am not dependent on earthly things.

Peace - a sense of well-being - comes from enjoyment of earthly things and dependence on God.