Looking for Hope

But now, Lord, what do I look for?

My hope is in you. (Ps. 39:7)

Such a simple phrase. I had almost overlooked it. In the midst of this psalm bemoaning the pain and shortness of life on earth, this verse sits quietly in the middle of it all. Yet the question it asks points out my deepest desires.

What do I look for? Each moment of the day, I am looking for something. It seems too often its my shoes or my kids or some results for my boss. But even in the quieter moments where nobody demands anything from me, I am looking for something. My will is bent on it. My feelings and thoughts speak of it at times. It rides alongside me often quiet, but not invisible if I look.

What do I look for? Whatever it is, it is my hope. Sometimes it seems to be a million different things, but really they all point in one direction, roughly. Hope reveals itself most intensely in despair. When life turns against me, what do I look for?

Each moment I need to ask, "Now, Lord, what do I look for?" Hope forms my search and frames my efforts. Hope stays in front of me. So can I say my hope is in you? Don't I find myself looking for other things far more often? The perfect body, the most faithful friendship, the ideal product, the best price? What does this say about my hope? Aren't these earthly things, destined to perish with use?

I see that looking for these things is not bad if you are behind them. Hope leads me through this world and all its things. They are not dirty. But they are easily taken to be idols, serving the god of my stomach. No, when I say my hope is in you, I am reminded of what I should look for and how I should look for it. The world and its wonders and even its pains are doorways into your grace and goodness, if my hope is in you.

Lord, you are wise to tell me to seek your Kingdom. I need to look for you as I go here and there and do this and that, seeing you in the midst of my life as the one thing that makes my life worth living at all. Hope is what gives life is value, and nothing has value away from you. Let me look for you each moment in each day. Then I will know where my hope is. Amen.